James: fuck you
James: are we going steady?
Matt: haha
James: if the pies get up this week ill probly drink a whole keg
Matt: if they win i want to eat the world
James: and then smash the keg over booths head hahaha
Matt: go to his house and eat him haha
James: hahahahaha
James: come at him with a knife and fork and eat him alive
James: and photoblog it haha
Matt: photo blog murder
Matt: what is my life..
Matt: it is completely pointless
James: …did u want me to reassure you?
James: cos i cant haha
Discussing what would happen if James dated a rich girl…
James: maybe i could score a trust fund
Matt: oh mega moneys
James: old money haha
Matt: and tell her to buy me a production company haha
James: i want to go out with your money
James: i mean you
James: and your parents money
Matt: i want to drive your parents money around
James: haha i wanna snort all ur parents money
James: i want to enter a legally binding contract that entitles me to your money…
you mean you want to marry me?
uh, yeh, whatever gets me your money.
Matt: demand a PS3
Matt: hi james… :)
PS3 WITH THE ASHES GAME NOW!
James: u come round to my house one night and ive got all these amazing gadgets
James: press a button and my closet opens
James: got a daytona racing machine inside haha
Matt: richie rich haha got your own maccas… with gaygs* working there haha
James: haha with a crew trainer badge
Matt: training me haha
James: ‘i just gave him that badge to motivate him… cos hes the only crew’
*Gaygs: Friend of ours who worked at Maccas for at least a decade.
News had just broken about Kyle Sandilands screwing up yet again.
Matt: he needs to never speak again
James: he needs to piss off so we can have our own amazing breakfast radio show
Matt: haha
Matt: eddie maguire is doing it!
James: apparently yesterday he didnt stop talking about the pies for the first half hour
Matt: eddie maguire and the pawsss half hour
James: haha
Matt: my radiator and muffler blew up in my car
Matt: i cant afford to breathe
James: holy shit
James: new car?
Matt: nah got it fixed.. 800
Matt: big moneys
Matt: cant buy wont buy haha
James: hating life all over the world
Matt: going to tie my car to the back of other cars hahaha dont need an engine
James: haha
James: yeh just get around everywhere like that. easy
Matt: haha cut a hole in the bottom and flinstone that shit
Like many others, we recently acquired tickets to the Falls Festival and are rather excited. Perhaps we may even return alive.
James: we were at band prac the other day and all of a sudden Beaman* just turns up, walks inside, grabs his jager out of Marks** fridge, all while we’re in the middle of playing a song
James: it was 3.30pm
Matt: haahahahahaaha
James: he clearly just couldnt go on knowing his jager was left at someone elses house
Matt: haha we all need to move into a house together haahahaha
James: we’d die
Matt: so much death
Matt: man can you imagine falls?
James: i should take an outfit or something
James: i wanna dress up
Matt: hahaha fuck yeah lets all go as ninja turtles
James: i wanna go as a drunken alcoholic that shits his pants and passes out face down and embarasses his mates
*Beaman is a mate of ours that loves Jagermeister. Perhaps too much.
**Mark is also a mate of ours aswell as being in a band supergroup with James.
James: whats crackin dickhead i havent met you in ages hahah
Matt: haha its been a pleasure
Matt: fuck my lfie (sic)
James: did u enjoy sydney?
Matt: i enjoyed drinking sydney into hell ahahah
James: did u live it up at endless coke parties?
Matt: i drank vodka all night and im in the lift-out of some sydney newspaper hahaha
James: hahaha
James: thats so good
Matt: the sun herald
James: u were there for like a week and ur already a media darling
James: WE GO PLAY HOOP
Matt: hahaha
Matt: obamarama
Matt: can we have a boys night out obamarama
Matt: next time we drink… its going to be for good
James: lets have obamarama and all dress as obama
James: just way over do it
Matt: barrack obama block party
Matt: you working tomorrow?
James: i work all the time and never stop
Matt: hahaha
James: can stop, but not allowed to stop
Matt: hahahaha
Matt: cant stop, legally should be able to stop
James: want to stop, got a gun pointed at my head so probably wont stop
James: cant stop, wish we had a union i could join… stop
Matt: haha
Matt: cant stop , stop
James: hahahaha
Matt: im having the worst luck
Matt: yo ush..
Matt: what up cuntttt
James: haha
James: yeh u need 500 beersd (sic)
Matt: i need so many beers
Then we both watched the Flight of the Conchords song where they take off R. Kelly and Ushers ‘Same Girl’.
While discussing Audrina Partridge, we somehow veered off onto a tangent…
James: even her name is awesome
James: beats our boring names to shit
Matt: i kno
Matt: we are so mundane in every sense of the word
James: she might as well be named yummy sexypants lazer lightning child
Matt: super pants 5000
Matt: thats her name haha
James: haha
James: 5000
Matt: but you have to prononce it as five zero zero zero
James: fifty hundred
Matt: fifty hundge
James: fi-hundy
James: every time i cum i produce a quarrrt
Matt: hahaha everytime i come, foreigner - i want to know what love is … plays no matter where i am
James: ‘dont pull your love out on me baby’ plays whenever i reminisce about my childhood
The conversation went like this for roughly the next 15 minutes.
James: this girl i macked on with a few months ago and just saw again the other night added me on facebook
James: so im cruising thru her pics and i discover shes mates with like 3 girls ive already made out with
Matt: brilliant
James: makes me wonder if they were friends before i kissed em all
James: or they just now have some sort of support group going
James: i had no idea
Matt: haha
Matt: james oxley must die!
Matt: jesse metcalf
James: so true
James: how was ur day rat face
Matt: watched the departed at school
Matt: then gave in and bought mad men on dvd
James: watched goodfellas the other night
James: ya canoli
James: ya shmanoozi ehhh
Matt: jo pesci is a cunt
Matt: shoots christopher from the sopranos
James: i know best performance
James: i punched my tv in
James: so he got made right?
James: missed the ending i walked out in rage
James: legen- wait for it, dary
Matt: we are made men
Matt: we are wise guys
James: woise goyes
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